Friday, May 4, 2012

Tips on Listening to Your Child

Listening—it's not as easy as it sounds. It's often uncomfortable to really hear somebody else's point of view (especially if it's your child and she's right and you happen to be wrong. It could happen, you know!). You might hear something you don't want to hear. It's uncomfortable to be challenged. You might hear something that challenges your belief system, or makes you question your assumptions about life. You might hear something that will make you want to change. Listen up now, here are some reasons to work on your listening skills:

It's a Good Idea!
There's only one rule for being a good talker: Learn to listen.



It's a Good Idea!
A greedy communicator “takes” from instead of “talks,” or adds to a conversation. The main difference between taking and talking is one little l. That l stands for “listening.” To talk with somebody, you've gotta listen.
  • Listening carefully is how you gather information about what's going on in your child's life and head.
  • Listening effectively builds strong relationships.
  • Listening thoughtfully shows respect.
  • Listening is always the first step in solving problems.
  • Listening to your child's perspective will teach you a lot. Kids are smarter than most grown-ups think, and they generally know what they need. Listen to your kids, and they will teach you how to raise them.
  • If you want your child to listen to you, you'll need to first listen to her. A child who is lis-tened to learns how to listen. And until she learns how to listen to you, it's the same as telling your problems to the bathroom mirror—no matter how eloquently you express yourself, nobody will be hearing you but you.
Here are the keys to improve your listening skills:
  • Listen first.
  • Always listen.
  • Create a special time and place for listening.
  • Use active listening.

Listen First

Listen first, and listen well, before reacting. The true story may take a while to emerge, the real feelings may take time. Okay, hotheads, this one will be a challenge for you! Can you count to 10? Practice!

Always Listen

I know, you've got a million things, people, and animals to focus on. And I'm telling you to always be aware of listening opportunities? Alas, yes. Kids aren't always organized, and kids with emotions (and last time I checked that was all of them) are even less so. It's hard for a child to wait until an opportune time to raise an important issue or disclose some vital information about how she got sent to the principal's office or that Toby beat him up because he accidentally shoved him into the garbage can. Sometimes a child will fret over telling you something important—and let it slip out just at the moment you are least expecting it. Perhaps you're on your way out the door to a board meeting, or making a left-hand turn into the most dangerous intersection in town, or checking that the soufflĂ© hasn't fallen. Trust me, when you're least prepared is when the most vital information will slip from your child's little lips like a sigh.
Carpe diem—seize the day! Keep a constant low-level awareness, a sense of priorities. If Bobby is in hysterics or Sally is desperate to tell you about her date, perhaps you can rearrange your morning (and your life) and listen. (Can you call in sick? Cancel the carpet cleaner? Get somebody else to pick up for the carpool? It's important!)

How Can Parents Model Good Listening Skills?

Listen Better, Learn More
In one of the Family Circus cartoon strips, the little girl looks up at her father, who is reading the newspaper, and says: "Daddy, you have to listen to me with your eyes as well as your ears."
That statement says almost all there is to say about listening, whether in our personal conversations or in learning in school.
Do listening skills affect learning? Listening isn't a school subject like reading and writing. Many of us seem to feel it comes naturally and that as long as we can listen to directions on how to find the restroom, nothing more needs to be said. The latest studies reveal that listening is a very large part of school learning and is one of our primary means of interacting with other people on a personal basis. It's estimated that between 50 and 75 percent of students' classroom time is spent listening to the teacher, to other students, or to audio media.
Can parents guide their children to better listening? According to research on listening skills, being a good listener means focusing attention on the message and reviewing the important information. Parents can model good listening behavior for their children and advise them on ways to listen as an active learner, pick out highlights of a conversation, and ask relevant questions. Sometimes it helps to "show" children that an active listener is one who looks the speaker in the eye and is willing to turn the television off to make sure that the listener is not distracted by outside interference.


Guidelines for Good Listening
Be interested and attentive. Your child can tell whether he has your interest and attention by the way you reply or not. Forget about the telephone and other distractions. Maintain eye contact to show that you really are with your child.
Encourage talking. Some children need an invitation to start talking. You might begin with, "Tell me about your day at school." Children are more likely to share their ideas and feelings when others think them important.
Listen patiently. People think faster than they speak. With limited vocabulary and experience in talking, children often take longer than adults do to find the right word. Listen as though you have plenty of time.
Hear children out. Avoid cutting children off before they have finished speaking. It's easy to form an opinion or reject children's views before they finish what they have to say. It may be difficult to listen respectfully and not correct misconceptions, but respect their right to have and express their opinions.
Listen to nonverbal messages. Many messages children send are communicated nonverbally by their tone of voice, their facial expressions, their energy level, their posture, or changes in their behavior patterns. You can often tell more from the way a child says something than from what is said. When a child comes in obviously upset, be sure to find a quiet time then or sometime that day to help explore those feelings.
Suggestions for Improving Communication
Be interested. Ask about your child's ideas and opinions regularly. If you show her that you're really interested in what she thinks and feels, and want to know what her opinions are, she will become comfortable about expressing her thoughts to you.
Avoid dead-end questions. Ask your child the kinds of questions that will extend interaction rather than cut it off. Questions that require a yes or no or right answer lead a conversation to a dead end. Questions that ask him to describe, explain, or share ideas prolong the conversation.
Extend conversation. Try to pick up a piece of your child's conversation. Respond to her statements by asking a question that restates or uses some of the same words she used. When you use your child's own phrasing or terms, you strengthen her confidence in her conversational and verbal skills and reassure her that her ideas are being listened to and valued.
Share your thoughts. Share what you are thinking with your child. For instance, if you are puzzling over how to rearrange your furniture, get your child involved with questions such as, "I'm not sure where to put this shelf. Where do you think would be a good place?"
Observe signs. Watch your child for signs that it's time to end a conversation. When he begins to stare into space, give silly responses, or ask you to repeat several of your comments, it's probably time to stop the exchange.
Reflect feelings. One of the most important skills of good listeners is the ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes -- empathizing with the speaker by attempting to understand his thoughts and feelings. As a parent, try to mirror your child's feelings by repeating them. You might reflect her feelings by commenting, "It sounds as if you're angry with your math teacher." Restating or rephrasing what your child said is useful when she is experiencing powerful emotions that she may not be fully aware of.
Help clarify and relate experiences. As you listen, try to make your child's feelings clear by stating them in your own words. Your wider vocabulary can help him express himself as accurately and clearly as possible and give him a deeper understanding of words and inner thoughts.
Parents Are Key in Building Children's Communication Skills
Parents play an essential role in building children's communication skills because kids spend more time with their parents than with any other adult. Children also have a deeper involvement with their parents than with any other adult and the family as a unit has lifelong contact with its members. Parents control many of the contacts a child has with society, as well as society's contacts with the child.
Adults, parents, and teachers set a powerful example of good or poor communication. Communication skills are influenced by the examples children see and hear. Parents and teachers who listen to their children with interest, attention, and patience set a good example. The greatest audience children can have is an adult who is important to and interested in them.

The Bad Effects of Listening to Music While Studying

 

The effect of music on studying depends to some degree on the student. Learning capabilities and styles vary. While some of us are auditory learners and may be soothed by music, others learn differently and therefore the impact of the music can also be different. Research does suggest, however, that any bad effects of listening to music while studying can be instant, triggering problems with memory, mood and other responses.

Memory and Music

·         According to researchers at the University of Wales Institute, any music heard while trying to concentrate can be distracting and impair the ability to memorize and recall information. This conclusion was reached after 25 people were asked to recall information while in a quiet environment and again while music was playing that the participants both liked and disliked. The study participants all performed better in the noiseless environment, leading one researcher to conclude that people should either perform tasks in quiet or listen to music prior to performing a task, not during the task.

Comprehension and Music

·         According to Davidson College, background music significantly impacted reading comprehension scores of more than 300 students from five public junior high schools. The students switched between a quiet study hall and another where music was playing. Testing was conducted over a period of two days, and three-quarters of the students showed significant declines in reading comprehension scores when listening to music when compared to their scores recorded after testing in a quiet setting.

Mood and Music

·         In research conducted by Loyola University, 45 male and 45 female college undergraduates were divided into three groups. The first group was exposed to no music, the second to moderate rock and the third to classical music during different studying and testing phases. A profile of moods test was also given to assess how different types of music made the participants feel. The participants reported a much higher level of anger while listening to rock than to classical music.

Sound and Classroom Acoustics

·         The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association notes that a student's ability to hear and understand what is being said in the classroom is vital for learning. Unfortunately, this ability can be reduced in a noisy classroom. Therefore, reducing sound and reverberation in any space used for learning is important.

Listening Response Styles

Even if you think you're a great listener already, chances are you can improve your skills even more. Body language and eye contact, understanding and what to avoid all play a large role in listening and responding effectively. The goal is to communicate clearly, not to be heard over someone else.

Body Language

·         Part of being a good listener is conveying the correct body language. Show the speaker that you're paying attention. Make eye contact as they're speaking. Also, stop what you're doing and face the speaker instead of continuing with your tasks and appearing distracted. Don't cross your arms; smile periodically at the speaker.

Questions

·         One great way of responding to whoever is speaking is to ask at least one question. This shows the speaker two things: that you're paying close attention to what he's saying and also that you're interested enough in what he's talking about to want to know more.

Empathy

·         Even if you don't entirely agree with the speaker's viewpoint, show that you empathize. Try to put yourself in her shoes and let her know that you understand what she's saying and where she's coming from. By understanding a perspective that's outside of your normal viewpoint, you open the door to resolving a problem if there is one.

Rebuttal

·         Even if you're fairly certain that you know how a certain conversation is going to go, don't plan your rebuttal ahead of time. If you do, you'll be less likely to truly listen to the speaker and form your opinion once you have all of the facts. If you're in an argument with someone, the main goal shouldn't be to prove that you're right but to resolve the problem in the best way possible.

Avoidances

·         Don't interrupt the speaker, even if the two of you are in a heated debate and you feel like you have important information to interject. Wait your turn to speak. If you listen, he'll be more likely to listen to whatever you have to say as well. Also, don't change the subject. Doing so makes the speaker feel as though he's insignificant. At meetings, don't take too many notes unless they're absolutely necessary. Instead, pay attention to the speaker. After the meeting you can jot down the main points so that you don't forget them.

List of Listening Styles

While effective speaking and communication skills are important in everyday life, listening skills are just as important because without the ability to listen, you wouldn't be able to understand what others are trying to communicate to you. There are several different types of listening, and each type is used every day when we talk, listen to music and learn new information.

Discriminative Listening

·         Discriminative listening is the most basic type of listening and is used whenever you are listening to another person speak. When someone listens discriminatively, he is listening for differences in volume, force, pitch and emphasis that allow him to discern meaning between different words and phrases. One must be able to hear the differences in sounds and discriminate between the differences of the sounds in order to understand subtleties. This includes identifying emotions or intents and reading body language.

Comprehension Listening

·         Comprehension listening is used to make sense of the different sounds and visual indications that you notice when you listen discriminatively. Also known as informative listening, the act of comprehension listening requires the listener to make sense of what she hears and sees. Learning is often done through comprehension listening. In order to successfully listen for comprehension, you must have a firm grasp of the vocabulary of the language you are hearing, strong concentration skills and the memory to process and remember information. Comprehension listening helps the listener understand the message that the speaker intends to portray.

Relationship Listening

·         The purpose of relationship listening is to develop or maintain a relationship between two individuals. Relationship listening can be used between two intimate lovers, close friends, family members or between two business people who wish to develop mutual trust. Another aspect of relationship listening is therapeutic listening, where a person talks about problems, issues or thoughts to an objective listener, usually a medical professional or therapist. Relationship listening helps individuals support one another and empathize with one another. Important aspects to relationship listening are eye contact and bodily movements. Attentive behaviors such as head nods, smiles and vocalized cues are a positive way to participate in relationship listening.

Appreciative Listening

·         When someone listens to music for enjoyment or pleasure, or to a speaker whose style is unique or enjoyable, he is listening appreciatively. A listener can also listen appreciatively when he seeks information that helps him meet his own personal needs or goals. Appreciative listening depends upon the ways in which the information is presented, the listener's personal perspective on the information and his previous experience with similar information. Previous experiences can include positive or negative associations that shape his feelings about the information being received.

Critical Listening

·         Critical listening allows the listener to form her own set of opinions on information based on how she evaluates and judges what she hears. This type of listening must be used with comprehension listening because if you cannot comprehend the information you hear, you cannot critically process it. Judgment of information might include an assessment of the strengths and weaknesses in the information provided, agreement or disagreement and approval or disapproval of what is heard. Critical listening requires more effort than appreciative listening because more cognitive awareness is required to process, evaluate and compare the information against previous knowledge while continuing to listen to the speaker.

What Is Listening Anxiety?

Anxiety affects more people than any other type of mental illness. Listening anxiety is a type of anxiety that comes from listening to others, such as in a foreign language situation.

ESL Situations

·         Situations in which English is being taught as a second language or the environment is not ESL-friendly, such as in a non-ESL classroom, can cause a high level of anxiety in non-English speakers.

Major Causes

·         Doubt in the non-native English speaker's ability to interpret the English language can be a major contributor to listening anxiety. Another source could be if an individual has never had a listening class before. Unrealistic expectations of understanding every word, context and meaning can also lead to anxiety.

Effects

·         Self-esteem is often affected by listening anxiety. Students with listening anxiety often feel inferior to classmates and easily compare themselves with others in the class.

Other Causes

·         Studies show that many language teachers adopt directive, authoritarian and in some cases intimidating approaches to teaching. Teacher prejudice toward favoring students who have been more successful at learning the English language can also contribute to listening anxiety on the part of the students who are less favored.

Considerations

·         Severe cases of listening anxiety could lead to more pronounced anxiety disorders or even depression. Speaking with school counselors can be a good way to seek treatment and support for listening anxiety.

Other Ways to Help

·         Support yourself through continuing to eat healthy meals and engaging in regular exercise. When listening anxiety begins to manifest, redirect anxious thoughts and breathe deeply.

What Is Listener Anxiety

Anticipation

Comprehension

Speaker

Engagement

Location

·         The location of the presentation can create anxiety in listeners. Sitting uncomfortably, limited visibility, inconsistent temperatures and physical location are all anxiety promoting conditions for listeners.

What Are Listening Styles?

Listening styles refer to the different ways people listen and analyze the contents of a conversation. These styles either have to do with the way listeners prefer to receive information or with how they scrutinize the message. There are two methods to evaluate a person's listening style: according to their orientation, as Dr. David Merrill and Dr. Roger Reid suggest in their joint research "Whole Brain Thinking," or based on their attitude toward a speech, according to human resources consultant Edward Dvorak.

Amiable and Action-Oriented Listeners

·         Amiable audiences -- otherwise called people-oriented listeners -- are those who care about the speaker and not only about the contents of his or her speech. Such listeners empathize with speakers, they encourage them to speak, they are worried when speakers are ignored and try to find common areas of interest. Another listening style is the "drivers," or action-oriented listeners, whose main concern is to understand the practicality of the information they receive. Therefore, they have little interest in long stories or irrelevant remarks.

Analytical and Expressive Audiences

·         Analytical -- or content-oriented -- listeners are genuinely interested in complex speeches, as they can analyze the data and evaluate both the information and delivery by the speaker. They are the most likely audience to spot little mistakes in language or content. Expressive listeners want to be part of a conversation, even when it is not a one-on-one occasion (like during public speeches, for instance). Such listeners analyze data quickly; when the message clashes with their own perceptions, they want to make the speaker know.

Appreciative and Empathetic Listeners

·         Appreciative listeners are generally sociable people, interested in listening to others for pleasure. A major concern for speakers dealing with such an audience is also to provide amusement or humor; otherwise, listeners can lose interest. Empathetic listeners resemble the amiable type, as they focus on body language and emotions, trying to recognize the speaker's point of view. On the other hand, comprehensive listeners concentrate on thoughts and actions, expecting logical presentations. They are too interested in the speaker's point of view, but only as far as his or her rationale is concerned.

Discerning and Evaluative Listeners

·         A discerning listener works hard to concentrate on the speech, trying to grasp the main message speakers want to communicate. For this purpose, they prefer information to flow evenly. Evaluative listeners bear a resemblance to the analytical audience and, according to Dvorak, they probably make up the toughest audience in a technical environment. They listen carefully, analyze information and -- at the same time -- come up with arguments against parts of the speech they disagree with.

How Do I Use Critical Listening Skills in Order to Analyze and Evaluate a Speech?

Critical listening skills are often emphasized in college-level speech classes because they facilitate the development of critical thinking skills. Critically analyzing a speech is an excellent exercise to challenge your ability to logically analyze a persuasive argument. Beyond college, critical listening skills can help you distinguish between fact and fiction in such diverse areas as marketing campaigns and political speeches.

Instructions

1
Record the speech if possible. This will allow you to listen multiple times until you become more skilled at critical listening.
2
Write down questions while you listen. Do not stop listening to focus on the questions. Write them down and evaluate them at the end of the speech.
·  3
Evaluate the speaker's credibility. Consider his background. Does his training or experience qualify him as an expert? If not, does the quality of his research suggest that he is a credible source?
·  4
Assess the speaker's trustworthiness. Ask yourself why she is giving this speech. Imagine that you are having a conversation and ask what reaction she wants from you. Does she have an underlying motive that would cause you to question her motives? For example, an expert in cancer research might give a compelling speech about a new medicine. She is an expert and gives a compelling argument, but all of her research is funded by a pharmaceutical company. Does that affect her trustworthiness?
·  5
Consider the logic of the argument. Evaluate the quality of the supporting arguments. Assess the supporting data and/or statistics. Do they appear logically connected, well organized and carefully constructed? Are you left with multiple unanswered questions?
·  6
Explore your reaction to the speech. Consider the possibility that the speaker's purpose was to evoke an emotional reaction rather than to inform you. Critical listening requires that you separate yourself from your reaction to determine the validity of the arguments logically. For example, the cancer doctor working for the pharmaceutical company may be a powerful speaker, evoking strong images of cured children. A critical listener should ignore emotional reactions in favor of analyzing the strength of the research behind the treatment being discussed.
·  7
Check the facts. Critical listening implies the need to question the arguments presented, data and statistics. Answering the questions brought up during listening helps you assess the accuracy of your critical listening skills by both confirming your suspicions and your assessment of the expert status of the speaker.

How Do I Test Listening Skills?


Listening skills have always been in second place after speaking because speaking is more measurable; but for communication to be effective, it requires listening. Understanding the message is essential for appropriate language production.

Intensive
·         Intensive listening can be tested through discrimination among smaller components like phonemes, words, discourse markers, among others. Testing intensive listening generally involves a spoken stimulus and the test-taker is required to identify the stimulus from two or more choices.

Responsive

·         Responsive listening testing has a question-and-answer format. The test-taker is required to find the appropriate response. The test has a multiple-choice format (with answers that seemingly have similar meanings) or requires a more open-ended framework.

Selective

·         Selective listening implies listening to a text with the purpose of scanning for certain details or information. Tests can use the information transfer technique, in which case the test-taker needs to decide which picture in a series matches the text to which they are listening.

Extensive

·         Extensive listening involves the comprehension and reproduction in writing of a moderately large spoken passage (dictation), generally of about 50 to 100 words. A variant of this test is answering comprehension questions after listening to the passage several times.

Helping Disadvantaged Learners Build Effective Listening Skills

A Brief Overview of the Problem

The definition of an at-risk student is broad and varied. A review of the literature (Zill, 1992) reveals that students of all ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds can be at risk for school failure for various reasons. Major factors that put today's students at risk include changing societal values, boredom with school, the media and other extraneous distractions, poverty, teenage pregnancy, low self-esteem, truancy, child abuse and neglect, suicide, alcohol & drug abuse, gang violence, and other childhood safety issues.
The "at-risk" label was initially applied to students who experienced school failure. National concern for the improvement of the education for our youth was greatly stimulated by the Nation At-Risk Report of 1983, published by the National Commission on Excellence in Education. One of the report's recommendations was that American students be required to take harder classes, do more homework, and increase their study habits, note taking and classroom listening skills. During the late 1980's and the 1990's, the term "at-risk" took on a much broader scope when educators began to concede the fact that student performance in the classroom was highly correlated with family and other environmental factors (Bruckner, 1995; Drazen, 1992; Levine & Havighurst, 1992; Levine & Levine, 1996, White, et al., 1993), and that kids with behavioral problems constituted a large part of disadvantaged learners. A large portion of the literature identified a rising problem among youth with conflict resolution, communication, and attention span deficits.
Conclusions drawn from an early pioneering work in urban education, The 1966 Coleman Report, suggesting that children bring their academic disadvantage with them to school from home, has long been a source of bitter debate among educators and policy makers throughout the years. The question of the role schools should play in stemming the tide of academic disadvantage has been written about many times over. Although we know that school reform without family intervention only addresses a small part of the problem, few educators find themselves refusing to look at new ways to help children in need.
In regards to minority and inner-city youth in particular, we also understand that family socioeconomic status, environmental factors, and community conditions impact classroom performance much more than does race per se (Drazen, 1992; Levine & Havighurst, 1992; McCartin & Meyer, 1988; Ricciuti et al., 1993; Spencer, Kim & Marshall, 1987; Thompson, 1996). The complicated interplay between race, poverty, family and neighborhood conditions, peer pressure, and so-called "learned helplessness" has yet to be fully understood. Still, we are quite aware that educators have the potential to do both harm or good to students through the classroom practices they institute.
Children attending inner-city schools appear to be especially vulnerable. For example, the practice among some districts to send the least qualified educators to tougher areas of town, as well as the practice of "dummying-down" the curriculum has not served disadvantaged kids well (Levine & Levine, 1996; Levine & Lezotte; Peng, et al., 1995; Thompson, 1997; Sue & Sue, 1990). Because the topic of academic disadvantage and subsequent remediation steps requires more time and space than what can be provided here, this article will concentrate on one limited aspect of the problem: The promotion of improved listening skills for at-risk students and disadvantaged youth.
Listening - A Skill That Can Be Taught
Unfortunately, very few people are good listeners. Research claims that 60-75% of oral communication is either ignored, misunderstood, or quickly forgotten (Bolton, 1986; Nichols & Stevens, 1957). In general, humans listen at one of five levels: (1) Tuning out what is being said, (2) Pretending to hear the message, (3) Selectively hearing only parts of a conversation, (4) Attentive listening, and (5) Empathetic listening - listening with the intent to understand (Covey, 1990; Walker & Brokaw, 1998). Because of the level of hyperactivity among many disadvantaged youth, the Empathetic stage, one that few educators themselves practice, is ultimately the one we wish all students to operate from in an educational setting.
Good listening skills are essential for academic success by students in today's classroom. However, this very important aspect of the learning process, which requires conscious effort and continued practice, is rarely recognized as a developed skill by many teachers. In all too many cases, the primary emphasis on listening skills involves the teacher asking students to be quiet so the child can take notes or attend to the day's activities. Although there is a place in the classroom for traditional approaches, today's teachers can take more definite steps toward helping disadvantaged learners become better listeners.
The first step in the realization of this goal is to make the student aware of blockages in student-teacher communication. The literature identifies the following as general barriers to effective listening (DeVito, 1991; Hanna, 1995; Walker & Brokaw, 1998):
* Preoccupation with self;
* Preoccupation with external noise - i.e. distracting environmental influences, and internal noise - i.e. lack of sleep, headache, daydreaming, etc.;
* A process of "sharpening" - when one or two aspects of a communication become highlighted at the expense of the whole message;
* A process of "assimilation" - a tendency to reconstruct messages in a way that they reflect one's own attitudes, prejudices, needs, and values;
* Psychological filters, and the friend-or-foe factor. Listeners sometimes distort a message positively or negatively dependent upon preexisting biases; and
* Hidden agendas or a process of only hearing those things we want to hear.
Good listening is a skill that must be developed. It may be wise to take time away from the regular curriculum to have students practice listening skills. Taking the last half of a class period on a Friday, for example, to allow students to talk about such current topics as the influence of pop music on youth behavior using the above rubric for building effective listening would provide a great forum for youth to practice communication skills. Once students are comfortable identifying listening impediments in an area of their own interest, the skills can be easily transferred to note-taking and other classroom assignment skills.
Finally, it is important to stress to students that listening is not a simple stimulus and response interaction, but rather a circular process that is continuous and didactic. One must first receive the message, then understand the content of what is being said. The next step involves remembering what was said. An important and often overlooked step is the need to experience at least some part of the communication in a positive way, before proceeding to the next step of evaluating the content of the message. Lastly, the listener is asked to respond to the presenter in order to appropriately complete the communication feedback loop (DeVito, 1993, Farley, 1988; Hanna, 1995).
Classroom Tips for Developing Listening Skills
Based upon findings from the literature, as well as teacher craft knowledge gained from the combined years of classroom experience of the writers, we offer the following twelve suggestions which may prove useful to teachers and other help professionals working with at-risk and disadvantaged youth. We believe the suggestions help `set the stage' for a good listening environment, allowing students to listen and learn more effectively:
1. Before teaching or giving directions, establish a listening environment for at-risk students in your classroom.
Good listening is encouraged by putting the mind in a `ready to listen' mode. Inform students that sitting in a comfortable position and being ready to listen with a pencil and paper is important. Begin your discussion by telling students they are now going to learn some interesting facts and concepts, and they should prepare to act as `critical learners.'
2. Take time to teach listening and study skills in the classroom.
Teachers cannot assume that listening and study skills will be taught in the home or picked up in study halls. Educators must become "orchestrators of the learning environment" by tailor-making classroom atmosphere utilizing communication building blocks.
3. Slow down your message and let the listener process the information that is given.
The disadvantaged learner needs time to process the teacher's message as he or she hears it. This process means not only hearing what the teacher has said, but it also involves decoding and analyzing specific events which often signify fairly complicated concepts. Some authorities (Hanna, 1995) have indicated that the average teacher speaks at approximately 150 words per minute when in front of a group. With disadvantaged learners, it may be necessary to reduce that rate to 75 to 100 words per minute with appropriate pauses to provide the student time to process the information the teacher has presented.
4. Enumerate and prioritize the important points of the message for the listener.
Lectures given by the teacher can be broken down into smaller parts of a composite whole. Provide clear examples of how parts of a task, activity, or issue fit together. Highlighting and numbering the essential steps of an issue is a helpful teaching strategy for helping the disadvantaged learner achieve overall understanding.
5. Repeat and redefine critical parts of the message for the listener.
Educators severely strain the disadvantaged student's listening abilities when they state, `listen closely, I will say this only once!' Even the best student may require certain information to be repeated or redefined. By frequently repeating and redefining information, teachers reinforce the students' background knowledge upon which new concepts are built, and thus provide a stronger basis for better comprehension and understanding of the new material.
6. Paint a picture of the message so the listener can visualize what is said.
An effective teacher helps the at-risk student do a better job of listening by painting a picture of a concept, using clear examples and analogies with which students can identify. Utilize phrases like, "Picture, if you will, an individual 7 feet 5 inches tall who must bend over to get through a doorway." Help disadvantaged learners visualize abstract concepts in a more concrete way.
7. Encourage the disadvantaged learner to keep an open mind when listening. Teach students how to avoid over-reacting to trigger words and phrases.
Triggers are words or phrases that have such an emotional connotation that after hearing them, the student quits listening for a few moments or a sustained period of time. When a student hears a trigger word, his or her attention is redirected to the consequences implied by that word. This brief interruption in the listening process often causes some of the most critical parts of the teachers message to be lost. Avoiding the usage of such trigger words, and encouraging the disadvantaged learner to listen to the complete message are key to the development of good listening and improved teacher-student communication.
8. Recognize and reward good listening on a regular basis.
All students need to be reminded frequently that good listening is a skill that requires constant practice in order to demonstrate competence. By putting a high priority on good listening in the classroom, teachers can `redefine' the student's typical perception that listening `is something we are born with and not a skill that can be learned and improved upon.'
9. If you use an extrinsic reward system to start off with, have a plan in mind that helps students transfer over to an intrinsic form as the year progresses.
Remember, the goal is to encourage learning for learning sake, not to create a generation of youth who desire a reward for what they should want to do anyway.
10. Use graphic aids to supplement lecture material.
The use of curriculum aids such as computers, overhead transparencies, and graphs can help students listen and gain more information through a combination of visual and auditory learning. The teacher might say, `Listen carefully to what I have to say about this picture and look carefully for the details I have mentioned.' Using such an approach is a realistic start in getting slow learners to focus on what the teacher is saying.
11. Evaluate students for physical or emotional problems which deter listening.
Effective listening by students in today's classroom is partially dependent upon the teacher being aware of physical or emotional problems experienced by the students. For example, a simple change in the seating arrangement might do wonders for a student with a hearing loss. Without teacher intervention, many physical and emotional problems make good listening difficult for students.
12. Summarize your lecture in a way that students may use several listening skills at once.
Summarizing what has been said at the end of the lecture in a way that lets students use several listening skills provides greater opportunity for disadvantaged learners to achieve success in concept attainment. Using this approach, the teacher demonstrates to the disadvantaged learner that the use of listening skills is a very important part of good closure.
Summary
In the teaching profession where much of the learning process is focused on the `spoken message,' it is surprising that more emphasis is not put on `listening' to what is said. The twelve suggested steps can help teachers assist slow and disadvantaged learners become more successful in their academic pursuits by being better listeners. Few educators would argue the importance of good reading skills in the goal of promoting the academic improvement of all types of learners. Improved listening skills is also essential for attaining that goal. Perhaps the most important reason we should promote better listening is that it helps to enhance the probabilities for the acquisition of higher order thinking skills, a critical component of academic success for both slow and advanced students.

Listen Up! Real Listening and How To Practice It By Robert Bacal, M.A.

Most of us think we're really good at listening (and conveying to the other person that we are listening), but we tend to over-estimate our skills in communication. In this article we'll look at how to go about improving your listening skills and we'll include some aspects of attention focusing, and some practice exercises where you can work on improving your listening on your own.
Improving Your Listening Skills
Whether you are an executive, manager or line employee, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to improve your listening skills. People who listen effectively are perceived as more helpful, more "in tune" and tend to exert more influence over others than those that are less effective listeners. Paradoxically, good listeners are listened to more than poor listeners. In this article, we are going to briefly discuss effective listening, and suggest an exercise you can use in the privacy of your own home to help you enhance your listening skills. Not only can you apply them at work, but in any relationship

What Is Effective Listening?
We often confuse hearing with listening. While hearing is a function of biology, listening is a function of intentional behavior. It is something we choose to do, and as such, we need to build skills, and practice to be effective at it.
There are two major components to effective listening, or in other words, two families of skills that need to be mastered. The first component is your ability to focus your attention on the words, body language, and meaning of the speaker. If you are unable to focus your attention on these in a sustained manner, you will have difficulty understanding the nuances of what the speaker is expressing.
In terms of attention, you cannot be an excellent listener if:
  • your attention drifts to other things running around in your head while another person is speaking.
  • you judge the speaker while he/she is speaking. Thinking about how you could say it better, the size of the person's nose, or how wrong the speaker is, is going to impede your task of understanding the speaker from the speaker's position.
  • you spend most conversational time eagerly waiting for "your turn" to speak.
  • you rehearse your response while the other person is speaking.
  • you undertake some other activity while the other person is speaking (e.g.. checking the time, making extensive notes, answering the phone, etc.).
So, in other words, effective listening requires you to focus your attention, and to acquire the discipline and skill to do this almost automatically. It does not come naturally!
The second component of effective listening relates to your ability to communicate your understanding of what the speaker is saying and meaning. Even if you manage to focus your attention on a speaker, if you cannot communicate this to the speaker, you will be unlikely to reap all of the potential benefits of effective listening.
Two common skills that fall into this category are empathetic listening (expressing your understanding of the feelings of the speaker), and reflective listening, or paraphrasing (expressing your understanding of the details of the speaker's talk).

Developing Attention-Focusing Skills
Comparatively speaking it is much easier to develop paraphrasing and empathetic listening verbal skills than it is to acquire the self-discipline of attention focusing. For this reason, we are going to discuss a simple technique to use to practice attention focusing. In her book "Staying Well With The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, Suzette Haden Elgin suggests that this form of practice is more effective than practicing on real people (at least at first). All it requires is a television, or radio, and a few minutes of uninterrupted time available on a regular basis.
1. Find a television or radio program that approximates real talk. In other words, the ideal program would have some period where the speaker talks for several minutes, uninterrupted. A sermon, speech or lecture is ideal. In fact Elgin suggests telecasts of parliament or government proceedings might be ideal, and since these are generally available in most areas via cable, they are also easy to find.
2. Give the speaker your full attention. Elgin suggests that you listen to the words AND watch the body language. Most people will find that stray thoughts intrude quite quickly, sometimes as often as every ten or fifteen seconds. Each time your mind wanders, "grab it" and refocus on the speaker. Don't get discouraged if you must do this many times. It will get easier.
3. Once you are able to listen with full attention to the TV/radio speaker, for a period of ten minutes, you will be ready to start practicing with people in person. Elgin suggests that you actually time yourself, since it is easy to misjudge the time when you are trying to listen.
Those of you who have any background in meditation, relaxation exercises or the martial arts will recognize this type of practice as something very familiar. Attention focusing is a mental discipline, regardless of context.
Conclusion
There are several skill components to effective listening. The most difficult to acquire is the ability to focus your attention on a speaker without being distracted by judgments and thoughts that you generate internally. However, if you do not learn how to focus your attention, you are not likely to understand the speaker sufficiently to respond effectively. As you improve this ability, you will find that you will be involved in less misunderstandings, and you will be perceived as a more positive, effective person, regardless of your position in the organization.

Effective Listening Requires

  Listening does not take place in the ears. Hearing takes place in
the ears. Listening takes place between the ears.
WE LISTEN WITH OUR HEADS
Animals hear; people listen.
Animals hear sounds and react. People hear words and they can
evaluate the meaning, importance, or urgency of what they hear.
Listening is an intellectual adventure.
We need to evaluate more than just the words. We need to become
aware of the communicating styles, learning preferences and
personalities of the people speaking. That information guides us
in how we receive, accept and react to what we hear.
We need to think through how the messages affect our business and
personal lives and we need to create plans for what to do with the information.
If we do not understand the words and their meanings, we need to ask questions, make comments, or seek clarification so we can make correct decisions.
WE LISTEN WITH OUR EYES
Listening doesn't just involve hearing the words. We need to watch the person's body language and facial expressions to ensure the nonverbal messages match the oral ones. If we become distracted, we can miss an important clue that indicates what we are hearing does not truly relate to reality. This is not to say the speaker is lying. What the words say and how the person delivers them might indicate uncertainty, confusion or doubt on the speaker's part.
For example, if you ask an employee, "Do you understand?" The
response might be "Yes." However, the word "yes" might be
accompanied by eye movement, a facial gesture or a shrug of the
shoulders that might signal you are hearing what you want to hear.
On the other hand, if you do not maintain eye contact while you
are listening, you can send many mixed signals to the speaker.
This may indicate you are not interested in what the speaker is
saying, you are distracted by your personal agenda, your don't
agree with what the other person is saying, or that you flat out
don't like the person. It could also signal that you feel
intimidated or embarrassed by the person or the message.
WE LISTEN WITH OUR VOICES
listening does not involve total silence on the part of the
listener. As listeners, we need to prove to the speaker that we
are listening and understanding. We don't have to agree but we do
have to understand the other person's position. We cannot
understand it if we don't truly listen.
We listen with our voices by giving appropriate responses as the
person speaks. This can be as simple as the sincere guttural
sound, "Uh huh."
It could be a response like," I see," "I hear you," or I'm with
you."
Or, you can display your understanding by repeating or
paraphrasing the speaker's word.
WE LISTEN WITH OUR HEARTS
Listening is an attitude. To be a truly effective listener, "Ya gotta wanna." That's a phrase I heard many years ago when I first
started my sales career. To really listen to someone, you must
think at least as much about the speaker as you do yourself. You
have to adopt a mindset that whatever the speaker says may contain
some value for you. Is this always true? No. But you will never be
able to know this unless you truly listen carefully to what the
person has to say. If you miss something, it's your fault, not the
speaker's.
We all like to think we have value. When you show people you care
about them, you gain their respect and their attention. Listening
effectively creates a Win-Win situation that carries value way
beyond a casual or even a highly structured listening encounter.
Employers who stress, model and train employees on listening
skills own a competitive advantage. Employees who take
responsibility for effective listening become valuable assets to a
company and, generally, are the ones promoted faster and more
often.
Listen between your ears. If you don't, you lose.

Effective Listening: The First Step to Improving Writing




by Robert Stevenson

Reporters who seek to improve their writing might do well to first improve their listening. Many reporters who resist such advice probably overlook the subtle, but significant distinction between hearing and listening. Hearing is to listening as talking is to public speaking; hearing, like talking, comes naturally, but listening, like public speaking, takes training and practice. In journalism, not listening effectively can spell the difference between a good article and a bad one. To achieve their goal of reporting accurate and objective information to their readers, reporters must initially be effective listeners. Misinformation may likely be the result for reporters who fail to listen effectively.
Imagine that a reporter is interviewing a local resident for a story about an upcoming event. The resident notices that the reporter does not appear to really listen to her responses. If the interviewee is like most people, she will probably become concerned about the potential accuracy of the reporter’s subsequent story. Not listening effectively will therefore erode credibility and may likely result in an interviewee providing only short, carefully worded responses. The goal of a successful interviewer, to achieve a conversation to gather quality information, will most likely be only partially achieved at best. Furthermore, new reporters who have yet to master effective listening skills may likely and unwittingly, perpetuate propaganda.
Politicians and others who have public agendas to posit are often skilled in using interviews to bring attention to their position without actually responding to the reporter’s questions. Reporters who are too busy preparing for their next question to practice effective listening skills may overlook this tactic, and the result will likely be an inaccurate, one-sided article.
Obstacles to effective listening can even affect seasoned reporters. As one who has covered a beat for a number of years, a reporter may feel that he’s heard it all before. Upon hearing a source react to a controversial issue, for example, the veteran journalist, may rush to judgment and unfairly categorize a response incorrectly. Thus a potential source might be immediately discounted without being given a legitimate opportunity to be heard. The resulting article will probably be unfair and incomplete.
For the reporter who is assigned to cover a speech or a meeting, other obstacles to effective listening can emerge. Because people can think four times faster than a speaker can speak, reporters must learn to compensate for this time discrepancy. A reporter can use the extra time to jot down observations or make relevant personal notes in preparation for writing the article.
Effective note taking skills can overcome obstacles to effective listening. These skills include highlighting material the speaker emphasizes, grouping related items, categorizing information as key points, developing supporting material, identifying information that needs to be verified, providing anecdotes and background data, etc. To maximize listening efficiency, reporters must be determined to resist internal distractions such as hunger or anxiety concerning an unrelated problem and external stimuli such as noise or the speaker’s physical appearance (if it is unusual).
Reporters who are gathering information for an article must avoid being passive listeners. Passive listening is the listening mode associated with listening for entertainment purposes. A more proactive listening mode is comprehensive listening. At the comprehensive listening level, a reporter listens to understand a source, taking into consideration what is being said, how and why it is being said, and who is saying it. Analytical listening is also a valid mode for reporters. Analytical listening puts into gear one’s critical thinking skills and creates a necessity to accept or reject the validity of information. A reporter who is seeking to determine the honesty of a speaker, for example, should employ the analytical listening mode.
Ten Steps to Effective Listening:

  1. Be prepared to really listen.
  2. Maintain strong eye contact, consistent with the source.
  3. Visualize what is being said.
  4. Avoid interrupting.
  5. Wait until the speaker is finished to reach conclusions.
  6. Ask questions only to clarify what was said.
  7. Give relevant feedback.
  8. Avoid internal and external distractions.
  9. Concentrate on the speaker’s words.
  10. Restrain your emotions, stay completely objective.
A reporter, who is an active listener, sends important feedback signals to the speaker. A dazed look might signify to the speaker that the presentation is too complicated. A sleepy look might indicate that the presentation is boring. An inquisitive look might cause the speaker to elaborate. As with any interpersonal communication, feedback is important for the speaker to assess and perhaps modify his timing, delivery, content, pace, style, and vocabulary.
Habits that defeat effective listening are especially difficult for some reporters to overcome. Reporters may find that when they hear information to which they can relate, they daydream or interrupt the speaker to share their personal experiences. Also, when gathering information for stories, reporters are supposed to disregard their feelings and strive for objectivity. However, reporters will feel strongly about certain issues. Some reporters may be inclined to argue with a source as opposed to listening to a point of view contrary to that of the reporter. This is highly unethical. In daily conversation, these habits may be viewed as annoying, but for reporters gathering information for stories, these habits can be downright counterproductive.
Hearing comes naturally for most reporters. Listening, on the other hand, is a skill that must be honed to be effective. For many reporters, giving complete and undivided attention to a speaker is considerably more challenging than first expected. As with any learned skill, practice is the key to success. In her book “Staying Well With The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense,” Suzette Haden Elgin suggests first practicing with a television or radio. Select a program in which a speaker talks uninterruptedly for about five minutes and listen “hard.” Set aside a few minutes each day to practice effective listening skills.
Focus on blocking out all distractions except for what the speaker is saying. At first, most reporters may lose focus rather quickly. It is important to remember that as soon as you catch your mind drifting, stop and return your focus to the speaker. Practice this until you can regularly keep your focus on target for 10 minutes. At this point, the reporter’s practice should involve the same procedure, but with the speaker actually talking in person.
The rewards reaped by journalists who practice effective listening will be reduced misunderstandings and improved accuracy of information, quotes, and the context in which quotes were made. A high quality article requires high quality information, and effective listening is a significant tool that helps reporters achieve that goal.

Positive Influence by Effective Listening

by Madelyn Burley-Allen, Ph.D.
Dr. Burley-Allen is President of Dynamics of Human Behavior, a company that enhances individual potential and organizational effectiveness (phone 512-847-0595; dhb@winberley-tx.com; http://www.dynamics-hb.com/).  She is author of Listening: The Forgotten Skill (John Wiley, New York, 2nd ed. 1999).
Positive influence happens in a variety of forms between managers and those they supervise. It surprises many managers to learn that one of the most significant ways to influence others in a positive way is by effectively listening to them.

"I was astonished! All I had to do was listen, and this employee of mine worked through his own problem without me giving a bit of advice."

Newly aware of his own listening patterns, this manager stopped himself from jumping in with solutions when an employee began sharing a problem. Instead, he listened quietly and occasionally summarized what was being told. The employee came to his own conclusions right in front of him. The manager realized how much he had been interfering, by being too quick to give advice, with his staff’s ability to build confidence. He was amazed that most people just want him to listen to them.
Most Important Attribute

Listening to the individual is the most important attribute of an effective manager. Managers who listen, earn employee’s respect and loyalty. They discover important things about how the business is going. One company hired an expensive management consultant to find out why workers had low morale. The consultant began searching for the cause of dissatisfaction using a method the company's managers could have used themselves. He directly asked the workers why they were unhappy--and listened to their answers.
Employees frequently have excellent ideas about improving productivity of the work environment. Managers who listen for these ideas solve more problems than those who do not. These managers create a sense of concern for their staff while receiving better-quality information.
The foreman of a large manufacturing plant called Jose, a supervisor of a production line, into his office to explain plans for a new way to assemble machinery. The foreman described how he thought the procedure should be changed. Jose's only response was silence and a frown. The foreman realized something was wrong and sensed Jose might have something to say because of his non-verbal communication.

So he said, "Jose, you've been in the department longer than me. What's your reaction to my suggestion? I'm listening."

Jose paused, then began to speak. He realized his manager had opened the door to communication and felt comfortable offering suggestions from his years of experience.

As the two employees exchanged ideas, a mutual respect and trust developed, along with a solution to the technical problems. While listening, the manager, remained in complete control of the situation. He was an active, not passive, listener.

A manager who was curious asked her secretary to keep track of the time she spent listening on the telephone. She was shocked to discover her company was paying her 35 percent of her salary, or $18,000, for this function. Amazingly, on the average, people are only about 25 percent efficient as listeners. With this efficiency rate, about $13,500 is paid for time she spends listening inefficiently.

Why People Are Poor Listeners
When we think about listening, we tend to assume it is basically the same as hearing; this is a dangerous misconception because it leads us to believe effective listening is instinctive. As a result, we make little effort to learn, or develop listening skills, and unknowingly neglect a vital communication function. Consequently, we create unnecessary problems for ourselves and others: misunderstanding, hurt feelings, confused instructions, loss of important information, embarrassment, frustration, and lost opportunities.

Listening involves a more sophisticated mental process than hearing. It demands energy and discipline. Listening is most often a learned skill. The first step is to realize that effective listening is an active, not a passive process. A skilled listener doesn’t just sit there and allow listening to happen haphazardly.

The belief that the power of the talker plays a major role in communication is why many managers are poor listeners. In our society talking is viewed as more important, with listening categorized as only a supportive function.

Levels of Listening Model


Listening can be seen as a model that has three levels. They are distinct categories into which people fall; they may overlap or interchange depending on what is happening. As managers move from level 3 to level 1, their potential for understanding, retaining what is being said, awareness, responsiveness, creativity, and effective communication increases. All managers listen at different levels of efficiency throughout the day, as their listening habits, their attitude toward listening, their mental alertness, and physical health change.

Level 1

At this level there is conscious attention, understanding, awareness of the moment, respect and a spirit of cooperation. This means managers will see things from the other person's point of view, be empathetic to the person’s feelings, and thus avoid internal distractions that interfere with effective listening. They pay attention to the talker's total communication by listening to content and the intent of what is being said; such as, tone of voice, inflections, volume. A critical ingredient of this level is the managers' attitude of mutual respect which helps suspend negative personal labels and is non-intimidating. This positive mindset promotes a communication process of inquiry and informing rather than an advocating position of "know-it- all." Summarizing and paraphrasing techniques will be applied to clarify meaning and understanding.

Managers at this level handle difficult situations more effectively because they know the importance of dealing with others from a non-blaming attitude. Usually stress at this level provides motivation, improves performance and excitement, increases focused energy, and fosters mental alertness.

This mental alertness often results in improved decision making, creativity, and memory. There is a greater ability to explore alternatives and choose the best one. Managers at level 1 avoid becoming preoccupied with their own internal dialogue that can inhibit effective listening. They also are aware that conversation requires a substantial amount of conscious processing because it involves novelty. We are not sure what the other is going to say, and we try to formulate unique responses appropriate to the discussion.  This lessens the ability to listen effectively.

Level 2

This level of listening is characterized as containing partial awareness, being in and out of consciousness, listening to words but not fully understanding the meaning of the message. Managers at this level don't realize information is being missed. This results in making little effort to understand the talker's intent or to clarify for understanding.

Each person has their own meanings for words because they filter them through their varied beliefs, knowledge, cultural upbringing, education, and experience. As a result no two people have exactly the same meaning for the same word or expression; meanings are not in words,
meanings are in people.

Much is being communicated interpersonally that isn't verbalized. Research shows that there are three factors that impact on the outcome of effective communication: words (verbal), vocal (tone of voice), and body language which include, facial expression, body posture, gestures and eye contact. The relative impact is: words 7%, tone of voice 38% and body language 55%. When managers are experiencing level 2 listening, they are mainly focusing on the words. Much of what is not being communicated non-verbally is being missed.

Level 3

This level has dangerous consequences. It’s an automatic “tuned-out” mode. Internal distractions include daydreaming, thinking about something else, self- dialogue, finding fault, and negative feelings. Not much of what is said will be remembered. Managers will experience concentration problems resulting in difficulty in making appropriate decisions.

A major factor that contributes to level 3 is a blaming attitude that perpetuates negative feelings of frustration, anger, worry, impatience, and loss of humor. These factors cause stress which then reduces alertness and creativity. Fatigue is often part of this level: a feeling of not being up to par, loss of initiative, increased indifference. Managers can become complacent about getting the job done.

The following example illustrates the three levels. A manager named David met with one of his key employees. "Carol,” he said, "I have the feeling there's something that disturbs you about our professional relationship." Carol took this encouragement as an opportunity to explain that she felt he made some very degrading comments to her a week ago.

Instead of reacting defensively, Dave listened to Carol's whole explanation and acknowledged her feelings. "I appreciate you telling me," he said. "I can see how you thought my comments were a putdown."

"Yes", Carol remarked, "I was upset about it."

David listened to that, too, and expressed concern that Carol was upset, adding, "I didn't intend it as a putdown."

This listening encounter proved a success because David stayed in level 1 throughout the conversation. By doing so, he influenced Carol in a positive way that encouraged Carol to feel comfortable talking about her negative feelings. David's level 1 behavior impacted Carol in such a way that she could respond to him at level 1. A few days later, Carol was heard mentioning her rapport with David as an example of a good working relationship.

Imagine what might have happened if David had reacted defensively at level 3 after inviting Carol to discuss what was bothering her! Often, when managers offer someone the opportunity to express his or her feelings about their behavior, they feel attacked and find it difficult to handle the feedback as David did. Usually managers take what is being said personally, become defensive or even verbally attack the person.

If David had responded at level 3 in a defensive manner to Carol's expressed negative feelings, the conversation more than likely would have ended with no resolution and increased alienation. Defensive listening is a major barrier to effective communication and problem solving because it perpetuates resistance, hostility, and an argumentative atmosphere.

Listening to others gives managers the information needed. Listening to themselves gives them the information to act in their own best interests. As managers achieve self-awareness, they are more able to choose their response rather than react automatically. They would then respond to what is real, rather than to emotions or misconceptions.

Information is power. Effective listeners are able to concentrate and find the most valid information in whatever they listen to. Effective listeners are powerful people that have positive influence on others.