Exhibiting effective listening skills requires attentiveness, effort, patience and practice. Zoning out causes interpersonal relationship problems. Simply acknowledging the presence of the other person does not mean you are listening to what is being communicated. Listening skills are demonstrated when a person responds with understanding and the ability to interpret and evaluate what was said or asked. This ultimately leads to improving interpersonal relationships by decreasing conflicts, improving cooperation and creating a common understanding.
Listen and Wait Your Turn
Being an effective listener requires you to sometimes remain silent. Some people feel they can listen and talk at the same time. However, they find while they are talking they only hear some words or sounds being communicated to them. This results in failed communication or at least lost messages and inappropriate responses. Being quiet will enable you to not only hear out the person, but allow you to think about how you want to respond.
Be Reactive
As you listen to a person, some form of response should be evident, whether it is with a verbal and/or non verbal cue. Such cues include reflective and/or paraphrasing statements, statements of support, a nod of head, eye contact and leaning forward. Being reactive is just as important as being quiet because it assures not only that the person knows you are listening but also presents accountability for staying attentive and comprehending.
Be Responsive
After actively listening to a person, how you respond determines not only the quality of your listening skills but the outcome of that interpersonal communication. Giving an inappropriate response can cause conflict, mistrust and difficulty forming relationships. In order to be responsive you have to be able to provide a verbal and/or behavioral response appropriate to the conversation at hand.
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